Child Upbringing is a very challenging task. Everything that parents do and talk is observed by the child and as a parent you may sometimes never know how the kid may interpret things. Keeping this in mind, you need to be cautious of the phrases you use in front of your child. There are few encouraging sentences that you can say to your little one to create a positive effect, but at the same time there are few things that you should never ever say to your child as the impact can be undesirable. Here’s a list of few things you should think twice before saying to your child.
“You are so …”
When you label your child with a word, it is a shortcut that shortchanges your kids. Occasionally, children may overhear when you are talking to others saying something like: ‘My daughter is very shy type.” Young kids start believing whatever they hear without any kind of questioning, even if it is about themselves. So, when you are using negative labels, your kids may take it as a self-fulfilling prophecy. Your son or daughter gets the message that shyness or meanness is his or her nature. Children start to think of themselves that way, thus undermining their confidence. A better way would be to address the particular behavior and leave out the adjectives about your kid’s personality.
“Practice Makes Perfect”
Though this may be the truth, your child may not get the message right. This proverb can increase the pressure he experiences to excel or win. It conveys the message that if he or she makes mistakes, they didn’t train and work sufficiently hard. They may start thinking what’s wrong with their efforts in spite of practicing to the maximum and not being the best. Instead of saying such a sentence, motivate your little one to work hard since he will improve and take pride in his progress.
“If you ….. then I’ll give you…..”
Have you been bribing kids to get them do what you want them to? If so, it’s high time you put an end to such a bribing attitude. Bribing children is as unhelpful as it disheartens them from cooperating just for the sake of harmony and ease. Such an exchange can turn out to be a slippery slope and if you tend to use it often, you are more likely to experience it re-bouncing to you.
It is not always easy for parents to be with their children’s tears. However, if you happen to say something like ‘Don’t cry’ in an authoritative tone, you would rather be invalidating their feelings and conveying the message that their tears are not acceptable. This way, children will learn to stuff their emotions, which can finally lead to emotional outbursts that are more explosive.
These are a handful of evidently wrong, terrible and damaging things to say to your child. So, think twice before you blurt out these phrases!